Is it better for cross-dressers, when out in public, to try to blend in or to stand out?
I suppose, as I’ve said before, that the ultimate goal of most cross-dressers would be to Pass as a woman in public. Very few can do that consistently. Even the most convincing “girls” on the web have difficulty in the real world. Being seen in different lighting (especially direct sunlight), or from different angles; having the movement, posture, gestures of a female; and most difficult of all, being able to speak like a genuine female, are the difficulties that reveal the true sex of most cross-dressers. Luckily, most people don’t give strangers more than a passing glance so perfection is not necessary to Pass much of the time. The feeling of being treated and respected as a woman is quite rewarding.
However, there are some good reasons for not blending in when in public. I’ve heard it mentioned that we do a great service to cross-dressers as a whole when we are “read”. As long as we dress and act appropriately, then being seen as a man in public dressed in women’s attire may help dispel some of the misconceptions that people have about cross-dressers. Also, the more people see CD’s out and about the less it will seem like an oddity.
Some men have no possibility of ever passing as a woman in public. I met a 6’3, muscular ex-marine once in Vegas. Even in his classy, sheath dress, heels, and short wig he looked pretty masculine. But he was confident, friendly, acted respectful of others, and was generally accepted by everyone. Naturally, even if he is in a dress, not many people would bother a 6’3 ex marine.
Often blending-in means dressing “boring”. Many cross-dressers like to wear more dressy, sexy, feminine clothing than the general public and therefore know they are more likely to stand out. Dressing in more feminine attire makes them feel good. There is usually a small percentage of GG’s that also dress that way even in more casual environments, and they stand out and catch people’s attention as well. That’s all well and good. If dressing that way makes someone feel good about themselves, and they don’t mind the extra attention (either good or bad) then I am all for it. Some cross-dressers even enjoy the looks of surprise of people they encounter. Of course, there are those who take that to the extreme and dress in a more fetish or trashy style that can make others very uncomfortable. Generally, people dress the way they want to be perceived and often act the part as well. So, while I don’t begrudge someone that dresses in extreme wear, I would never do it myself.
I say, you only live once. Do what makes you happy as long as it’s not hurting anyone else. If you are lucky enough to Pass completely, then live it up. If not, and people spot you as a cross-dresser, then, well….you are! So what? Either way, stand up straight, hold your head high and smile.
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